Differences of Rhetoric in China

So, I started studying Chinese last semester and am probably going to end up majoring in it. I'm also hoping to study abroad in China this summer. Since I've started studying Chinese, I've learned a little bit about Chinese culture which deals with personal relationships and rhetoric, both from my class and from my Chinese friends.

One notable instance is eye contact. Our textbooks tells us to look people in the eye when we make a speech. The inability to look people in the eye is often associated with shiftlessness and nervousness. It is completely different in China. It is considered disrespectful to make eye contact with a person. Most Chinese people will look downward when they make conversation.

A big part of Chinese politeness is humbleness. In the west, when someone compliments you, it's considered perfectly acceptable to accept the compliment. In China however, it's expected that you deflect or downplay all compliments directed towards you. For example, if someone complimented your clothes, you would say that you just threw on the first thing you grabbed out of the closet, or that your clothes are old and ratty. In fact, the proper response to "thank you" in Chinese is "bù kèqi" (不客气), which literally means "Don't Thank Me". 

Although, in some ways, the Chinese are more informal than us. There used to be equivalent terms to "Mr." and "Mrs." in mainland China, but they died out with the communist revolution. They were replaced with revolutionary terms, but those too died out. Now, in mainland China, it is common to call adults who are close acquaintances or are strangers of equal or lower status to yourself, and are the same age as your parents, "uncle" and "aunt". For example, you would address your friend's parents as "aunt" and "uncle".

All in all, this helps illustrate to things. One, that guidelines of rhetoric are far from universal, and can vary quite differently from culture to culture. And two, that you must adapt your speech to your current audience. Especially if they are of a different culture than you.